A major milestone.

No first apartment is complete without a terrifying bug experience. It's sort of a rite of passage. So, now that I've had one, I feel like I've finally moved in.

I was watching some quality television on Tuesday night when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw something hideous walking up my wall. It wasn't a cockroach or a waterbug - which is good, because if it had been I would have just curled up and cried while it took over my house. But it was still a monster. It had a million legs and antennae and scurried up the wall like a mutant creature of death. I had no idea what I was supposed to do with the fucking thing. Killing large insects is the job of dads* and boyfriends,** and I had neither.

After staring in horror for a few minutes, I looked around for something that would allow me to kill the zombie menace without coming within four feet of it. Finally overcoming my crippling fear of what could happen if this thing sprouted fangs and became airborn ... I grabbed the Swiffer and put it out of its hideous misery.

I haven't seen anything else creeping around the apartment, so I'm assuming this invasion was a one-time thing. If it ever happens again, I'm sealing the doors and windows and buying a shotgun.

* I once called my dad at work in the middle of the day and made him come home to kill a crippled bumblebee. I am not at all kidding about this.
** Then again, my boyfriend in college was afraid of spiders. He was also afraid of birds and cats. So maybe just dads.