The problem with Con-Ed.

So I've been having this problem with Con-Ed. So far, ignoring it and waiting for it to go away has been an effective solution - but now I'm taking another step in the problem-solving direction and blogging about it. Take that, reality!

Everything was all fine and dandy with the utilities situation (following that awkward heat-not-actually-being-free thing) until the following events took place this spring:

1) For two months, our Con-Ed bill was $0.

2) Simultaneously, there were notices posted all over the building informing us that the management had failed to pay their Con-Ed bill, and that all the common spaces in the building would had their electricity turned off (the management must have eventually paid their bill, because the electricity was never actually turned off).

3) Our May Con-Ed bill was for $621.60.

So our monthly electricity bill went from the usual $60-$80 to more than $600, with a weird clusterfuck of not being billed/the building fucking up their own electricity in between. I called Con-Ed to say "what the fuck," and they agreed that it was a "what the fuck" situation and sent someone to check the meter. This person then confirmed that the meter was working fine and that we were, somehow, suddenly generating $621.60 worth of electricity.

So I decided to take matters into my own hands.

Having decided that, somewhere along the line, another apartment's electricity had gotten hooked up to our meter, I decided to investigate. I went down to the meter room, found our meter, and memorized the number it was currently reading (I also got my key stuck in the lock, forcing me to take it off the keychain and just leave it in the door, where it's been for the past few weeks). Then I came back upstairs and flicked off every single switch on our circuit breaker and waited for half an hour (I won't elaborate on how pathetically incapacitated I felt with absolutely no electricity for a whole half hour - but this brainwashed technology addict was rendered pretty helpless). I went back downstairs to check the meter again ... and it was reading the same number. Which meant that it was still hooked up to something that was generating electricity. Which meant that my theory was correct.

I called the super and told him about my masterful detective work, and then he said "um" a lot and told me he'd call me back. He called a little while later offering to provide an electrician to further investigate the situation. Of course, there was a catch - if the electrician found that the building had, in fact, hooked up our meter incorrectly, the management would pay for the electrician; if the electrician didn't find a problem, then everything is actually my fault and Sarah and I have to pay for the visit. In addition to the unpaid Con-Ed balance that is now probably upwards of $1,000.

I have yet to decide what the fuck I'm supposed to do about this ... but that seems ok, since the super has yet to provide the name of this supposed electrician and Con-Ed has yet to threaten to turn off our electricity (they've been unexpectedly nice every time I repeatedly call them asking for some sort of explanation). So, for now, I'm just ignoring the whole ordeal. Maybe if we can ignore it until we move, we can just flee the situation forever. Or maybe a cloud full of free money and electrician unicorns will descent upon Brooklyn and fix everything for me. And maybe none of this will damage my credit score forever.

We'll see.

Also.

I still don't have a job.

Could all the unpaid summer interns please stop applying for the jobs that I desperately need in order to survive? I have approximately one month's rent left in my bank account and all I do all day is sit in front of my laptop and watch Animal Planet.

Our apartment was sold.

1) Why would you buy this apartment?

2) FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.